Actually, she told me to "buck up" or "life's not fair" or "take a hot bath and you'll feel better." She was not one for allowing any of us to wallow in self-pity...
...but that's exactly what I've been doing for the last week or so.
It all started when I did my taxes last week. Talk about soul-crushing depression. It was just another reminder of my dire financial situation and how I may never be able to physically separate from my ex under my current conditions. At the rate I'm going, I may not even be able to keep my heat on.
I determined that I have three avenues for pulling myself out of this shit:
1. Find a sugar daddy. (HAHAHAHA!)
2. Publish some damn books. (Happening VERY slowly)
3. Find a new, better paying job. (Also a very long process which is not looking too fruitful at the moment yet I'm still trying.)
Honestly #2 is my best option.
I have blogged over on passion.com for over 4 years now. I've posted over 2000 blogs and have 1600 followers. I hoped that audience would all rush over to Amazon and buy my book but that hasn't really caught on like I wanted. I also thought the nearly 500 members of the swing club I'm part of would go buy my book. I basically thought I had a readymade audience of over 2000 people and that you know, at least 10% of them would want to read my book based on the fact that they either love reading my blog or that they'd want to support a like-minded friend.
Hasn't really happened.
So yeah, I'm disappointed. But it's only been six weeks since Mountains Wanted's release. I know it takes awhile for the word to get out. I've never been known for my patience. But I have decided something important:
I can no longer afford to spend a lot of time writing that doesn't directly or at least indirectly make me money. In other words, my blog on passion was not really serving to promote my book so it's got to go. It sucks because I've loved blogging there (except for the ubiquitous drama, bullies and continual site glitches) and I've had a lot of success there too. But I can't directly promote my book there and a lot of the time I spend there isn't even on my blog, it's reading/commenting on other blogs. It's like an obsession because there are so many talented writers there. I was in good company, that's for sure.
So, I'm sad that I'm sad that I'm closing up shop and I'm disappointed that the blog didn't sell me more books.
But you know what? I am going to "buck up" and remember "life's not fair." Hell, I may even "take a hot bath" to soothe my weary soul. Because it's onward and upward from here on out.