One of my friends recently posted the following status on a social networking site:
"Exclusivity isn't love. It's colonization."
I've been thinking about this a lot, especially coupled with a question on an online dating site that asks, "Do you have the right to forbid your significant other anything?"
As my own relationships are morphing and transforming I am left wondering what my deal breakers are and what freedoms are non-negotiable for me. The farther along I get on this journey the more I think that monogamy and exclusivity are not for me, and I don't think I'd be willing to compromise on that.
And, really, can you compromise? You're either exclusive/monogamous or you're not. Or, one party is in the dark. I suppose that's an option. And having traversed that road before, frankly, I'd rather not. I'm a big fan of openness and honesty.
But here's the bottom line: I don't like this idea of staking claim to someone, to having rights. I'm not planting a flag on my lover's heart. Conversely, my own heart has such a huge capacity and I don't have this narrow slot where someone can slip their key in and then it's locked up tight, impervious to feelings from any other parties.
I don't think love puts restrictions, barriers or boundaries on people or relationships. I believe love is expansive, exponential, and non-exclusive. I believe love opens doors; it doesn't close them.
I may explore this theme more in Mountains Climbed. Although I am sure of Point A and Point B, the path between the two is still nebulous. But don't be surprised if the sentiments expressed herein make an appearance along the way.