Sunday, November 23, 2014

13 Things I Will Not Do At My Wedding

(That I Did the First Time Around)

1. Plan around my university's winter break. I was a sophomore in college when I got married the first time. I wanted a Fall wedding but couldn't since I was in school. I'm getting it this time.

2. Stick to traditional music. I always hated the traditional recessional so we did "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring" instead, which is still fairly traditional. This time the recessional will be totally stellar. (That's a hint.)

3. Not serve alcohol. I was under 21 at my first wedding, and we got married and had the reception at my parents' church so there was no booze. We are going to more than make up for that this time around!

4. Have bridesmaids who want to make it all about them. I'm not going to rehash details from 20 years ago, but suffice it to say I don't speak to any of those so-called friends anymore. This time, I know my maids will have my back on my wedding day and beyond!

5. Worry about everything being matchy matchy. First time, if it wasn't teal, silver or white, it didn't belong. This time I'm sticking to a Fall color scheme but I'm not going to be nutso about it.

6. Deny my love of paisley. Going along with #5, who cares about color? There will be lots of paisley!

7. Waste money on response cards. Having to mail RSVPs back is a pain. They can just email or text me.

8. Have my dad walk me down the aisle. I haven't even talked to my father in a year. My sons will be escorting me instead.

9. And likewise, my mother will not be taking over the planning. She won't even be there.

10. Wear white. I'll wear ivory instead. Because it looks better with my pale skin and red hair.

11. Wear a poofy dress. Because no. Just no.

12. Take the day so seriously. I didn't have fun at my first wedding. It all seemed like a huge production for my parents' friends in which I was just along for the ride. At this wedding, we're all having fun, damn it!

13. Marry someone I've never lived with. One of the main reasons I got married at 19 is because my parents would have disowned me if I'd lived in sin. Now I'm 40 years old and I've lived in sin for over a year, and as a result, I know for certain this the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not going into marriage blissfully ignorant this time. I know that my man is a slob. But I also know he's a great cook, amazing cuddler, and every once in awhile he'll do the dishes. Above all, I know he will do everything in his power to build an amazing life with me.

What did you or would you do differently the second time around?

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