editing and contemplating

It's been a long time since I posted a blog about my progress.

I finished the book a couple of weeks ago when I was traveling in South Carolina.  It was bittersweet to finish in one of my favorite cities and I was left with this overwhelming sense of ambivalence as it hit me: Now what?

One of my friends who had been reading along as I wrote was eager for me to start Book 2, but I knew Mountains Wanted needs a lot of editing and polishing so I set about that.

Now as I'm about to finish I'm faced with decisions about what to do with this tome I've given birth to, all 108,000 words of it.  One of my ...I don't know what to call her..former friend? who works in the publishing industry recommended self-publishing it on Amazon for 90 days and then re-evaluating.  I am seriously considering that option.

I feel like I am only just beginning, overwhelmed with how much research I should be doing now to decide the next step.  Instead I just want to have it out there, have people read it, and bask in the glow of a job well done, or at least what I hope is a job well done.  Four people have finished reading the book so far and all were complimentary.  I think the edits I've done since they finished have only improved the quality and readability.

But I'm asking myself now if I'm ready to handle criticism.  Rejection.  And as much as I think I am I know how emotional this book was for me, how close it is to my heart, and how fragile I feel some days.

I'm caught between fragility and strength.