Monday, April 8, 2013

snowballing

Yeah, that's right, I'm going there.

So I finished Chapter 5 over the weekend and the entire chapter is a scene where Sarah and her new beau Garrett attend a fetish party. It's a little out of Sarah's element (and mine too!) but I wanted to branch out a little bit. One part of the contrast between Garrett and James is that the former is much more experienced and open-minded so I thought this might be a good way to illustrate that contrast. So they go to the party and they utilize a St. Andrew's Cross, a flogger, and some nipple clamps, plus some help from other party guests. When I finished writing it, I sent it to a friend who has more experience in the BDSM lifestyle to tell me how realistic it was and he sent back several very helpful suggestions that I used to make a few changes.

I'm pleased with the way it turned out, not that it couldn't use a bit more fine tuning. I have had three people read it now: the aforementioned BDSM friend, my vanilla (i.e. non-lifestyle) girlfriend who has been reading every word and offering feedback since early on in the first book, and my lover/partner who has been integral to the entire project. They all three said it was hot but that there were elements that they weren't into sexually.

Interestingly, those elements were different for all three of them. I get that not everyone is going to be turned on by every sexual act. Everyone has preferences and things they find more arousing than other things. My vanilla girlfriend, for example, didn't even know what "snowballing" was (which happens at the end of Chapter 5) and I had to explain it to her. She said, "Ewwww."

What I want to know though is can you still get turned on by a sexual passage even if there is one activity described therein that doesn't float your boat? Or could there be an element so unappealing that it would ruin the whole thing for you? Furthermore, if you don't mind being explicit, what types of activities would you find repulsive to read about?


6 comments:

  1. I understand that everyone has their own little thing that does it for them. I am not into blood play and activities that are illegal.

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    1. Good to know, I'm not into those things either for the record :)

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  2. oooook i had to look up snowballing. gross. even though i am "vanilla" i am intrigued and turned on by the sexual situations in Mountains Wanted. i love reading romance & somewhat vulgar books. i very much enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey and the BDSM elements in it as well. FSoG is the only book/books that i've read more than once (3 times to be exact). i'd even be open to trying new things but 1) i'm not sure my hubby would be into it and 2) i'm not sure i could take him seriously while trying anything out of our confort zone.
    back to your question: i would find the following things repulsive to read about:
    -urination/defecation for sexual pleasure
    -extreme pain for sexual pleasure, even if consensual (like choking, burning, cutting, etc)
    -anything involving children
    i'm sure there's more but on the fly that's what i came up with.

    i love that i feel like this is an interactive process between you and your fans/readers :)

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Cathy, I wouldn't be able to deal with most of the stuff you mentioned either. Choking however...well I do kinda like a hand around my throat but not squeezing too much.

      TMI? Oops :)

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  3. lol i could deal with that. a sign of domination :)

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  4. Snowballing is a sexual term?! Crap, where have I been. Under a rock! :)

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