the joys of online dating

My adventure in this neck of the woods is soon drawing to a close. There's all sorts of emotions tied up in that proclamation but I haven't the energy to address them now. Related to that, I have changed my search parameters on many of the dating/adult sites to which I belong. I was looking for a serious long-term relationship and now I'm a bit more open-minded.

What continues to both amuse and depress me is the wide net that men cast on these sites. It's sort of like, "Let me hurl a hot, steaming pile of shit into cyberspace and see if any of it spontaneously blooms into a lovely, fragrant rose," which is code for, "and maybe I'll get my dick wet."

I've been in a rather snarky mood as of late which means that I've not been able to control my undoubtedly sarcastic and very often mean responses. Here are some of my more frequent observations that usually lead to strongly worded replies:

1. I say in all of my profiles that I'm a writer. I use correct grammar, spelling and punctuation. WHY IN THE WORLD would any man who sends me a message that says "hey babe how r u?" think I am going to respond positively?

2. Why on the fetish site do almost exclusively submissive men email me? I say I'm a switch but then elaborate that it's VERY RARE for me to take a dominant role and only with a regular partner who will likely also be a switch. The latest incarnation of this epic fail is a man who described how he wanted to serve a woman and light her cigarettes (WTF?) and when I responded saying based on his profile I didn't believe we were compatible, he wrote back to ask why I thought that. *facepalm*

3. I don't understand why men haven't figured out that even women who are open-minded and hedonistic still require some exchange of information and pleasantries before spreading their legs. WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

I could probably list more things but I'm bored of it already. All I can hope is to find more tasty fish in a new sea in a few months.  Wish me luck!