Tuesday, July 30, 2013

on the term BBW (I didn't want to have to go here)

I used to regularly use my blog on the adult site as a platform to talk about sizeism and other weight-related rants. Although I've probably mentioned it a time or two here, I haven't really gone off about it for awhile and I suppose all of it's been building up inside me for some time. So, for that, I apologize. At least I'm not premenstrual this week so it may not be quite as vitriolic as it could be.

The the record, I am not a small girl. I'm a very well-proportioned size 16. I have an hourglass figure with broad hips, a smaller waist, large breasts and I also have a sizable posterior and thighs. I work out regularly and sometimes tell people I'm the most in shape obese person in the world. (Yes, by my BMI I am technically obese.)

For some reason in the past two weeks, men on all these sites I'm on have felt a need to write to me about my weight. I will never, ever ever understand this phenomenon in a million years. One guy on Fet told me I looked better heavier (in some pictures on there I'm 10-15 pounds more than I am currently.) One on OKC had "BBWLover" in his username. One on SLS felt the need to start his message by telling me how much he loves "curvy voluptuous girls."

I understand that all of these men think they're being kind and flattering. But I still feel insulted. First of all, I abhor the term BBW. Abhor, loathe, hate, and want to poke my eyes out with sharp sticks when I see it. I am NOT a BBW. Neither are you. There is no such thing. How can I be a BBW at a well-proportioned regular misses size 16 and so is this woman over here who is a size 24 and her waist is literally twice as big as mine? It's not a descriptive term. And many BBWs are anything but beautiful. There are plenty of ugly skinny chicks and ugly fat chicks out there. Word.

You don't see rail-thin, emaciated women using SSC to describe themselves (Super Skinny Chick). You don't see athletic, fit women using AFW to describe themselves. When we call ourselves BBW, it is a lame, euphemistic apology for not meeting societal conventions. I don't need a label to apologize for being bigger than average. I am just me. I may be over 200 pounds but I have perfect blood pressure, blood sugar and my cholesterol is below normal levels. I can run or swim a mile. I can lift a LOT of weight. I am strong and healthy despite what the number on the scale says. I am not beautiful because of my size or in spite of it. I just AM.

So when you email me, say you're attracted to me, say you love my body or that I'm beautiful but there is no reason to call attention to my size as if you're a super awesome guy who can deal with the fact that I'm not svelte. As if you're doing me some sort of favor. And when a woman tells you she hates the term BBW and you have it in your username - maybe you need to take a moment to ask why. Maybe you might learn something about women that will aid in your getting laid at some point, namely that women don't like to be labeled and want to be admired for WHO they are, not what arbitrary category you think defines them.

That's all for today, folks. Thanks for listening.






7 comments:

  1. Love this post. You are who you are. And, in my younger and smaller days, I used to get really offended when men commented on how small I was. The best man at my wedding said something to the effect of "you have big boobs for a skinny girl". People assumed that I didn't eat or that I had an eating disorder. I had (past tense) a high metabolism. End of story. It was genetics! And I was in horrible shape. I didn't run or work out. It sucked finding clothes because I did not have hips or a butt. I wanted a girly figure. Labels suck.

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    1. Thanks Jennifer! Genetics are an interesting thing - I find I am just about equally blessed and cursed with various attributes!

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  2. For someone to put bbwlover as thier handle only says one thing about them. They are not very considerate others. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. What matters is the connection in the relationship.

    Having said that and for discussion, what if the one that uses bbwlover as a handle is a away for him to identify what he is looking for. There could be swclover (skinnywhitechic). What if the handle being used is to demonstrate what he is looking for?

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    1. It is a way to delineate what you are looking for, but it's also alienating to anyone who doesn't fit (or doesn't like the term.)

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  3. Men are idiots, lol I don't understand people's obsession with labels.

    NINJA ZX-14 MotoVlog

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    1. Isnt labeling people a socialologist job?

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    2. Sure it is. But a good label actually has a meaningful description. Like I pointed out in my post, BBW does not really mean anything. It's highly variable and not distinctive.

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