Tuesday, September 11, 2012


I know today is 9/11 and I don't want to take away from that.  I will never forget the meaning of this day or the shock, fear, and heartbreaking sadness I experienced on this day 11 years ago.

But something else important happened in my life on this date four years ago.

Four years ago today I started a blog on an adult (read: sex) site.  Yes, I am an adult site blogger.  I started off chronicling my experiences in the swinging lifestyle: threesomes, foursomes, parties, clubs, other encounters.  After about a year and a half I began to cultivate a following.  I somehow found the courage to share some emotional stuff I was going through.

Little did I know, adult site blog readers connect as much to emotions as they do to sex!

I soon realized that I was as much of an emotional exhibitionist as I was a sexual one. I could display my tits, my ass, and yes, my feelings, my shortcomings, my vulnerabilities.  And my readers would love me for it.

First off, the numbers. As a social scientist, I really do like to quantify things, and so here is what I have accomplished in four years:

1. I've posted nearly 2000 times
2. I've gained an audience of nearly 1300
3. My average post contains 250 words, so I have nearly posted a HALF MILLION words.

Secondly, what I've learned:

I was speaking with a good friend yesterday and she made the observation that my blog has totally groomed me to become a writer.  Before my blog, I was overly sensitive to criticism and reluctant to share my work with other people.  Now I have learned to gracefully handle negative feedback.  I've learned when to incorporate suggestions and when to ignore them.  I've learned what appeals to people (and surprisingly, emotional relatability is often more compelling than erotica, who would have thought?)  I've learned tenacity.  I kept blogging even when I didn't think I had anything particularly interesting to say. 

It's like these four years have been building me up, preparing me for this moment when I take the serious plunge, when I wholly give myself over to making my voice heard.

Can you be proud of blogging longevity on an adult site?  Should you be?  I don't know, but to hell with what anyone thinks, I am.

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