Saturday, February 2, 2013

on packing up and moving on

My partner often tells me that we suck at breaking up with each other. We've tried: me a few times and him once. And, well, we just can't seem to stay apart, even when that might be the best thing for both of us.

I'm not good at closing doors to places or things, and especially not the ones leading to people. I can have the worst falling out with someone and still be receptive to working it out. I'm a forgiving person, what can I say? I like to leave doors open because you just never know...things change and people grow, and someone that hurt you before may have done the work they needed to do to be in your life again.

So when I decide to really wash my hands of someone or someplace, well, you know it has to be pretty damn bad.

That's pretty much the case with AdultFriendFinder.

Are you familiar? It advertises itself as the world's largest adult site. I've blogged there for the last four and a half years, building an empire of 2000+ posts, hundreds of photographs and a following of 1600, not to mention the hundreds and thousands of viewers who come to check me out (probably more for the photos than the writing though!)

If I had to sum up my experience on AFF in one word, that word would probably be "educational."

Here's a short list of lessons I've learned:

1. People like drama as much as they like perving naked bodies.
2. People are both who you think they are and not who you think they are. Usually at the same time.
3. Adult site members are actually fairly conservative and oftentimes judgmental, as you saw in my last post.
4. If you want your ego stroked or your ego crushed, look no further than the AFF blogging community.
5. In the end, people are always going to choose themselves over anyone else.

Oh, there's other stuff too, but that's the important stuff, and the good news is that it's almost all transferable and generalizable to life outside of the AFF blogging community. I guess the last four years weren't a total waste after all.

So why am I leaving if it's such a treasure-trove of life skills?

Well, it's just time, that's why. I always knew I'd feel certain when it's time, and that's exactly how I feel. I'm slowly deconstructing my blog and profile, saving screenshots of all my work and then deleting it. It's a laborious process. Maybe if I'd known how tedious it was going to be, I wouldn't have posted so damn often! In any case, I want to leave as few traces as possible. I hope to be officially gone by the end of the month.

This blog is going to become more general in nature. I'm still going to blog about my writing of course. But I'll also be sharing some of the other stuff too, and honestly it's that other stuff that will likely be of interest to my readers. So stick might even learn something too. ;)


  1. Not to mention the site itself is run by incompetent asshats who obviously don't give a flying donkey fart about it's membership. Customer service is a foreign concept and all the never-ending glitches make blogging there annoying as hell. Not missing blogging over there AT ALL.

    The deletion process is torture...I think I've got over 200 posts down but still about 1500 to go...I'll be lucky if it's all done by the end of the month, but that's what I'm aiming for too

  2. My blog posts are all hidden. When I returned to blog in December I knew I would not be there long. Nothing has changed. Last time I deleted my blog I spent days, not anymore. As long as my posts remain hidden, I am ok with that.

    Riding My Own Biography
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  3. Thanks for letting us know where you have come to. I do appreciate your blogs.