Wednesday, March 6, 2013
chatty not catty
I recently received a review on the book that complained that there was too much drama. I find this assessment a little odd, although each reader is entitled to his or her own opinion, of course. What is too much drama in a book? I thought that drama was what made books and movies and television programs compelling?
Oh don't you just love the word drama? It seems to be tossed about rampantly these days. It has a very negative connotation but when you get down to it, drama is what drives movement and progress. If everything was stable and stagnant, how would we grow? We are humans and ruled as much by emotions as we are rationality. It's those emotions that make us who we are, that shape us into the people we end up becoming. And, getting back to the book, even though Sarah went on an emotional roller coaster ride during Mountains Wanted, did she not recognize at the end that there were valuable lessons learned?
Of course, there is unwarranted drama too. And I think much of the time it stems from a lack of understanding and communication. It happens when people are too afraid to talk to each other about their issues and instead go talk to someone else, only adding fuel to the fire.
I linked the "here's a crazy idea" post in the forum for the lifestyle group I'm a member of. I got a lot of positive feedback on it, which was nice. One of the female members and I were chatting back and forth during our game of Words With Friends and she asked me about drama in the group. I replied that there is drama everywhere, in all groups; it's just something to be expected. And I mentioned that especially groups of women could be catty, manipulative, judgmental, etc., which can in turn lead to drama.
She said something later about her desire to be "chatty, not catty."
That struck a chord with me. Chatty, not catty.
It's brilliant really. Because when we really know someone, when we really talk to them in person, aren't they harder to disrespect? Isn't part of the problem with gossip and rumors that the information is being passed second and thirdhand? Isn't part of the problem the fear of the unknown?
How much would our perceptions of people change if we took the time to chat with them before being catty or judgmental? A simple conversation can form a bridge over potentially troubled waters. I think the fastest way to quell drama is to share words with someone (preferably face to face, or in a medium where tone and inflection can be easily conveyed) and figure out where you intersect as humans, to find that common ground.
Because if you look hard enough, that common ground is always there.