Tuesday, August 19, 2014


So on this last day of my 30's, I'm thinking a lot about how my life has changed over the past year. On my birthday last year I was job hunting, unsure about my future with Andrew, and scrambling to get Green Castles published on time. Now I have four books on Amazon, I'm employed, and I couldn't be happier living with my man. It's been a good year! But I have every confidence that my 40s will be full of even better things.

I've also been thinking a lot about marriage. I have pinned approximately a zillion wedding things I like on Pinterest even though I'm not yet engaged. I feel it's imminent though; Andrew has said as much. I really don't understand how getting engaged, at least for heterosexual couples, is still the same as it was decades ago.

1. Men are still expected to "pop the question."

2. Bonus points if it's a surprise or done outlandishly.

3. Woman receives an engagement ring.

This is baffling to me. Why should men get to decide? Why does it have to be when *they* are ready? I guess that old-fashioned, sexist view of the man dragging his feet and being a commitment-phobe still exists.

Why does it need to be over-the-top and a surprise? To have something worth instagraming? Why is the engagement ring still such a huge deal? Two months' salary is the traditional amount to be budgeted. Not that Andrew is rich but two months' salary would buy me a pretty kick-ass ring. Is it two months before or after taxes? Is that a way of "placing me in layaway," a collateral of sorts? Or proving to me that he's serious?

Don't even get me started with the ridiculous amounts spent on weddings.

I just don't understand why in this age of Girl Power and Glass Ceiling Shattering that we still do it this way. I guess we're all still princesses waiting for our princes to choose us, to want to make us their queens.

So yes, I'm still waiting for the question to be popped.

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