Sunday, August 3, 2014

would it be wrong?

This post originally appeared on my AFF blog and will be included in my upcoming memoir, Unlaced: A Second Coming of Age.

August 11, 2009
would it be wrong? schedule a playdate tonight just so I have a man in the house to save me from the bat that has tormented me the last two nights?
Saturday night when the bat first made an appearance, my husband was home, and we contained the bat in two rooms along with our cat. Our cat is completely worthless, it turns out. So yesterday morning, we could find no traces of the bat after scouring the house. Last night, I was expecting it to re-emerge, so I had a ton of lights on and was armed with a tennis racket, which we have learned from past experience is an effective bat-ridding device.
So, I stayed up until about midnight and finally started to get drowsy after I got myself off with my vibrator. I had just began to snooze when I heard the power shut off, rendering it PITCH black in our house. I scrambled for my phone which I've been known to use as a flashlight in a pinch. I laid there for about 15 minutes until I heard footsteps and a small voice calling out, "Mom?" It was my oldest son. He climbed into bed with me as I scanned the perimeter of the room with my "phonelight." Sure enough, I saw a dark form swooping about the room. We quickly got under the covers.
So the power stayed off for an hour and a half. For no reason, by the way, except to enhance our already scary experience, apparently. We finally found a flashlight and ventured out into the living room. On the first reconnaissance mission, there was no sign of the bat. My stupid cat didn't mind chasing the light of the flashlight, but she wouldn't lift a paw to help find the bat.
During the second recon mission, the bat appeared, swooping erratically through the living room as I tried to follow it with the flashlight. My son was screaming like a girl (he's 12) and swinging the tennis racket wildly at the bat, but couldn't quite seem to make contact. Of course, it's hard to hit something flying all crazy in the dark!
Finally the bat flew into the curtain and seemed to drop. My son ran back to my bedroom and I followed. We sealed ourselves in and finally the lights came back on about 20 minutes later. We went on a third recon mission and thoroughly investigated the area by the windows but, alas, there was no sign of the creature. We never could find it again.
So here I am at work, on Monday morning, running on 3 hours of sleep. I'm probably going to be too tired to actually play tonight but I sure wish I had someone to keep me company, particularly someone adept with a tennis racket.

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