Thursday, September 11, 2014

doubly shamed

As a bigger woman who also enjoys sex I can identify with all the things I've read lately regarding Fat Shaming and Slut Shaming. From the article I read about the bigger girl in a Lara Croft costume whose photo went viral, garnering mean-spirited and hurtful comments about her size and how she had no business wearing that costume, to the hacking of all the nude celebrity photos, to which many responses had an air of "only sluts take nude photos and sext them to their partners."

So imagine the public outrage that I should be both fat AND a slut. I mean, really, how dare I? I must be the Penultimate Pariah.

I remember a man on here years ago who blogged that overweight people having sex is downright nasty. He even went as far as to assert that fat women having sex was being disrespectful to the beautiful act that is sex. You can imagine that I had some choice words for that asshat, which I believe will appear in my upcoming book [I]Unlaced: A Second Coming of Age.
And let's face it, people who Fat and Slut Shame can claim to have science on their side. They can make the argument that fat people are unhealthy and that society shouldn't embrace or promote lifestyles that may result in heart disease, diabetes, cancer, etc. They can argue that sluts are out spreading STI's and obviously have no self-respect. All with disregard to the fact that some fat people (myself included) work out regularly, try to stick to a healthy diet, and have no chronic illnesses. Or that swingers and other sexually open-minded people are often among the most careful and strict in their pursuit of safer sex.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I do know that I've read a lot of "stuff" out there that addresses and speaks out against Fat and Slut Shaming. And I'm hoping that these dialogues continue, and that maybe someone will even address the intersection of these two "public shames" like I have here. Because despite society's efforts to make me feel otherwise, I'm not too inclined to feel ashamed of either my body or my libido. And I am pretty confident I'm not the only one who feels that way.

What are your thoughts?

1 comment:

  1. Phoebe, I just went back to sls to review your photos. I don't see you as being either Fat or Slutty from what I have enjoyed seeing. I see a lovely rubenisk (sp) young woman who is not ashamed of her body or her feelings/desires. I, for one, would love to meet you. Lusbyman